Pappa wants mamma naked
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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