I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Still dying that you shit outside
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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