This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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