I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize