things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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