for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Randomize