I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
