If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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