You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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