id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.