1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
time to smoke my breakfast
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.