I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
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found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian