Whod you bang
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.