Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(334): View more from Alabama

Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.

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(334): Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies. http://tfl.nu/fldh

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.

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(860): Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message. http://tfl.nu/jwe9

Replies (19) Good night (9433) Bad night (753) Order T-Shirt
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(505): View more from New Mexico

He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.

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(505): He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued. http://tfl.nu/19hy

Replies (40) Good night (11019) Bad night (2902) Order T-Shirt
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

bring money and cleavage

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(978): bring money and cleavage http://tfl.nu/w9ou

Replies (20) Good night (5926) Bad night (756) Order T-Shirt
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(631): View more from New York

Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...

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(631): Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit... http://tfl.nu/oz8a

Replies (10) Good night (4791) Bad night (1355)
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(867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?

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(867): Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting? http://tfl.nu/56t0

Replies (2) Good night (1973) Bad night (1513) Order T-Shirt
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(304): View more from West Virginia

My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.

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(304): My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires. http://tfl.nu/nxay

Replies (14) Good night (3208) Bad night (1606) Order T-Shirt
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(601): View more from Mississippi

If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.

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(601): If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender. http://tfl.nu/eg99

Replies (1) Good night (1773) Bad night (629) Order T-Shirt
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(732): View more from New Jersey

He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.

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(732): He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper. http://tfl.nu/grbq

Replies (8) Good night (4228) Bad night (751) Order T-Shirt
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(573): View more from Missouri

Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me

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(573): Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me http://tfl.nu/lmhn

Replies (7) Good night (1698) Bad night (564)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.

(637): View more from

We made popcorn last night. So it's both

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(908): It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one. (637): We made popcorn last night. So it's both http://tfl.nu/itvi

Replies (2) Good night (424) Bad night (1031)
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(619): View more from California

That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.

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(619): That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions. http://tfl.nu/77kt

Replies (2) Good night (1299) Bad night (337) Order T-Shirt
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(937): View more from Ohio

The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...

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(937): The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night... http://tfl.nu/fmz0

Replies (4) Good night (1012) Bad night (378)
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(985): View more from Louisiana

He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.

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(985): He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed. http://tfl.nu/6hgc

Replies (6) Good night (1030) Bad night (251) Order T-Shirt
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(660): View more from Missouri

Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!

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(660): Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription! http://tfl.nu/if8j

Replies (4) Good night (724) Bad night (122) Order T-Shirt

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