I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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