I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
