I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
