Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
