thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
