I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
What a dumb baby whore.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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