people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize
