He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize