Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
