it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glass in half.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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