whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
