idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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