Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
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