What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
you never un-have a 4some
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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