I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
