it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
