My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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