oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
