kristin has been a bad kristin
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
