why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
