What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize