I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
