jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize