There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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