i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm at about main and main street
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
