I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
