therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize