I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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