Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
