I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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