i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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