1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
