i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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