why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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