Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The cops high fived after they tackled you
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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