So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
