Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
