He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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