Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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