used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
