I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
