I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
