There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
