How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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