Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Randomize
