pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
