He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
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its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
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That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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