i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
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