You smell like stripper and shame
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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